name: hemmingway daiquiri
occupation: deep sea fisherman & professional overthinker

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dry, sharp, and emotionally unavailable in a way people somehow find attractive. i don’t do added sugar — not because i’m better than everyone else, but because life has already sweetened me enough.​​

name: martinez, 149 years young

occupation: transitional classic (currently cocktail influencer)

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world traveler with a bold spirit and a sweet side. i’m complex, a little herbal, and just bitter enough to keep things interesting. into long stirs over cracked ice, candlelit bars, and making eye contact across a coupe glass.

name: pink squirrel
occupation: being underestimated professionally

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cute? sure. harmless? absolutely not. i’m sweet, creamy, and operating under the dangerous belief that dessert and cocktails should never have been separated in the first place. people underestimate me because i’m pink and adorable, which is honestly their first mistake.

name: sidecar

occupation: motorcycle racer turned parisian art dealer

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confident, refined, and just reckless enough to make your friends nervous. i clean up well, but there’s still a little gasoline and bad decision-making under the surface. equal parts citrus snap and cognac warmth with a sweetness that says, “i do have a soft side, actually.”

name: vieux carré
occupation: causing trouble in dimly lit bars since 1938

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old soul with expensive taste and a suspiciously good jazz collection. equal parts rye grit, cognac sophistication, and herbal chaos. i contain multitudes… and at least two types of bitters.​​

name: cobbler

occupation: fruit vendor at a farmers market who flirts with everyone

easygoing, refreshing, and wildly overdressed with garnish at all times. i’m the type to show up casually sparkling with crushed ice, seasonal fruit, and enough charm to convince you “day drinking” is actually self-care.

name: pisco sour

occupation: boutique hotel owner with suspiciously good hair

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silky smooth with a dramatic side. i’m bright, frothy, and a little high-maintenance, but in the way that makes people say, “okay… but honestly worth it.” equal parts elegance and chaos, usually topped with bitters and mild emotional instability.

name: bamboo

occupation: antique bookstore owner who definitely knows more than they’re telling you

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quietly elegant and criminally underrated. i’m low-proof, high-complexity, and not interested in competing for attention with louder personalities. if you get me, you really get me. equal parts dry sherry sophistication and vermouth charm, with enough bitters to suggest i’ve lived a little.

name: naked & famous
occupation: part-time chaos agent / full-time conversation starter

part smoky mystery, part citrus chaos, fully convinced i’m the main character. i travel light: mezcal, yellow chartreuse, aperol, lime. no filler, no fluff, just dangerously good chemistry and a tendency to become the story everyone tells the next day.

name: 20th century
occupation: romanticizing train travel & emotionally unavailable

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elegant, a little dramatic, and somehow always dressed appropriately for art deco cocktail lounges. i’m smooth, refined, and surprisingly into chocolate despite my crisp exterior. think cary grant energy with just enough existential dread to stay interesting.

name: el presidente

occupation: diplomat with excellent tailoring and questionable motives

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smooth talker with tropical charm and a taste for the finer things. i’m polished, sophisticated, and just sweet enough to make you forget i’m mostly rum. i’ve been known to solve problems with charm, elegant glassware, and strategic amounts of orange curaçao.

name: brown derby

occupation: studio executive who “discovered” at least three celebrities

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smooth, citrusy, and deceptively easygoing. i’ve got bourbon backbone, grapefruit charm, and just enough honey to keep things interesting. think vintage convertible energy with a permanent reservation somewhere impossible to get into.